


I miss you so much, but I breathe so much more easily now that you're gone

by orphan_account



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27423112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Hawke & Varric after Leandra's funeral
Relationships: Female Hawke & Varric Tethras
Kudos: 1





	I miss you so much, but I breathe so much more easily now that you're gone

Hawke struggled with the elaborate dress she had had on for her mother’s funeral. She had always hated them, hated the strangling corsets, and the long hems and high heels designed to make you trip in the most painful way possible. The corset was tight, too tight to be honest, but Hawke had shouted at poor Orana until she ran out of the room crying. It was painful and made it hard to breathe, but it gave her something else to focus on than her mother’s death.

Mother would have been so happy to see her put on a dress voluntarily. They had had numerous fights about Hawke’s gender-neutral and far more comfortable clothes. Mother expected her to act and dress like a lady, attend to all kinds of social gatherings, and try to attract a good husband. She was clearly disappointed when she kept running around killing people with red paint on her face.

That’s why she did it. For mother. For mother, she wore the dress that was strangling her. For mother, she did all this, put on the thick layer of makeup, got her hair and nails done. For mother, she did her best to act like a lady. In the mirror, a stranger looked back.

Tears started to fall on her cheeks and she crumbled to the floor with her face in her hands.

“Hawke…” Varric said, gently and his warm hand landed on her shoulder.

“I can’t do it Varric, I just can't…” Hawke sobs into her hands. With practiced fingers, Varric loosens the corset. Varric had learned all about corsets when Leandra was still trying to dress up Hawke. Hawke would lose patience three times before the dress was on and poor Orana couldn’t take her shouting. So Varric helped her out of all kinds of dresses, while Hawke cursed like a sailor and only the amount of galleons spent on the dress kept her from ripping it apart.

“You don’t have to, Hawke. You are great just the way you are.” Varric whispered as he helped her out of the dress. As the dress fell to the ground, all Hawke could feel was relief. It felt like a burden had been lifted and she could breathe again.

Mother had no more expectations for her. She was dead. She had thought that this way she would be able to keep a piece of her, by transforming into the perfect daughter she wanted. There was freedom in knowing she couldn’t keep her, but also pain. Because she was gone.

Hawke starts crying again. Varric hugs her close, neither of them giving any notice to her near nakedness. He didn’t say anything more, just held her until the tears stopped falling.

When Hawke has enough brainpower to realize she’s half-naked in the arms of her best friend. She leant back, ending the hug. They just stared at each other for a second.

Varric smiled and lifted a bottle of some kind of fancy alcohol. “You get the clothes, I’ll get the glasses,” he said, breaking the awkward tension. Hawke laughs a little and gets up.

“Thank you, Varric.” Hawke said seriously, smiling a bit awkwardly, before getting up the stairs for a change of clothes.


End file.
